About

Hi there! I’m me. Are you you? That’s nice!

About me? Well… Not much to tell, really: Twelve feet tall, porous surface, special toe-nail, 10th degree Grand Master Accubationist, smasher of unbreakable glass, destroyer of worlds, and all that jazz. Yes! I’m a polymath, and a polyart (if there is such a term) and poly does, indeed, want a cracker — depending, of course, on who you talk to. I’m a composer of music, I paint, I’m a poet, a musician — being self-taught and proficient with four different instruments, and self-taught but not proficient with a couple of others. I also make a pretty mean fettuccine alfredo!

I’ve written books — one of which currently occupies a position in a collection at an ivy league university, I thank you very much. And, for what it might be worth, I’ve had countless white-hot spotlights beamed into my eyes while dancing around and acting the fool and strumming my electric twanger on burning hot stages, in front of countless drunken audiences. I’m your worst nightmare – a friggin’ long-hair with a high level security clearance. TS:Umbra, baby! Actually… that’s not true. Well… the long hair part is. Anyway, I’m something of a knowledge whore, and I’m opinionated to a fault — or, maybe not, I haven’t really made up my mind about that yet.

I’m a certified ordained minister in the Universal Life Church (Like THAT’s some sort of hard-won accomplishment), and I’ve bestowed upon myself a number of highly prestigious PhDs and BmFs which I, myself, have personally fully accredited. I have an I.Q of 148 (If ol’ Alfred “Stanford” Binet has anything to say about it), and I’m of European descent — British, French, German. I’m also part Mi’kmaq — so much so that they tell me I’m actually eligible for tax exempt status… but I’ve never bothered to get the card. I don’t think I deserve it, for reasons I could get into, and one day probably will.

I’m usually right, seldom wrong. Or, usually wrong, seldom right – depending on the day. I either have all the answers, or I don’t — that much is certain. My political views are mostly fairly far left socially speaking, and usually fairly centrist, fiscally speaking. However some of my views, socially and fiscally, are commonly labelled far right, and moderately left, respectively, by people who generally don’t know what in the hell they’re talking about.

I’m a guy you want to get to know, but probably shouldn’t. I’m a guy you want to listen to, for at least a minute or so. Yes sir-eee, Bob! I’m the kind of guy that you DO take home to Mother, but Mother likely will be none too pleased about it and you’ll eventually end up regretting the decision.

I’m a Deist… although, I’ve never found another Deist whose views quite resemble my own. But, what the heck, I say! Deism seems to come closer than anything else at fitting my particular set of views. And people dig labels and categories, so to hell with it.

I also feel that, ultimately, solipsism is the only completely rational philosophy — even though it’s almost certainly very probably wrong. Or, at least, I hope. Fortunately, I also feel that pure rationality isn’t the be-all-end-all of human understanding. The most important part, perhaps — but not the only part. That being said, I consider myself a strict rationalist and believe strongly in the supremacy of rationality over empiricism — So, go figure!

My eyes are green, and I sometimes suffer from horrible, chronic back spasms. I think it’s important to stand up to be counted, and I make it a point to do so when I can. The back spasms often get in the way of that, however. I also try to get some good walking in every now and then.

I’m interested in crypto-politics and all manner of kooky crap – along with much more mundane areas of various doings and goings on.

I enjoy the occasional ta-do, and even the odd hullabaloo. I prefer to hang out with rapscallions as opposed to ne’er-do-wells, hoodlums or nogoodniks. Although, given my druthers I’d much rather avoid them all.

My favourite alcoholic beverage is Bourbon, which I drink straight. I also dig beer, wine, scotch and vodka – but not much else… rye and tequila are ok. When I was a teen I once got really, really sick on rum. Ever since then I can’t stand the stuff. I can not stand to mix any alcoholic beverage with any kind of soda — the taste makes me sick — fruit juice is fine though.

I’m a crazy-ass protein eater, and also enjoy some carbs. However, most green food is meant to be eaten by the things that I’m meant to eat. I get my greens mostly by proxy. I have the absolute utmost respect for people who choose a vegan lifestyle for moral reasons, and almost no respect for those who choose it for health reasons. I used to drink a lot of Pepsi – too much Pepsi. Like, WAY too much Pepsi. But I ended up putting the kibosh on that… and now it’s stuck there and I can’t get the kibosh off of it. I’m not big on sweets — chocolate is good and ice cream is deadly good. But anything else… meh — I could take it or leave it.

Because of my artistic works, I currently enjoy a very odd level of celebrity — some people whom I’ve never met before, and who live very, very far away from me, know my name and even quote things I’ve said. But, there isn’t very many of them, and none of them really care a whole lot about me. Very few of them know what I look like. Strange.

So, now that you know about me, you should be able to see why you should read my blog and listen to what I have to say. Or, maybe not. I dunno. Do what you want. See if I care.

Thank you,
The Management.